Wedding Packages

Gretna Green Wedding Ceremony Information

Information on our range of Gretna Green wedding packages


Gretna Green Hotel Accommodation at The Mill Forge

Information on the ensuite accommodation at The Mill Forge


Gretna Green Wedding Receptions at The Mill Forge

Details about hosting your wedding reception at The Mill Forge


Gretna Green Wedding Costs, Tariffs & Special Offers

A breakdown of costs for weddings, accommodation and receptions

Funny Wedding Quotes

Below are some humourous quotes made by famous people on the subject of weddings and relationships.

Humourous Wedding Quotes


  • By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.

Jean Kerr

  • Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Grouch Marx

  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marie Corelli

  • I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Samuel Johnson

  • Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.


  • The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him.

Robert Frost

  • It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Helen Rowland

  • A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
  • Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said, after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it.

Oscar Wilde

  • The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
  • No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out

George Bernard Shaw

  • Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

Agatha Christie

  • An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested in her he becomes.
  • Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her

George Nathan

  • Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery.

Marion Smith

  • Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.

Ogden Nash

  • All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Mae West

  • It's not the man in my life that counts, it's the life in my men.
  • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

The Bible

  • Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.

Marcel Achard

  • Women like silent men, they think they are listening.

Jean Harlow

  • I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.

Katherine Whitehorn

  • No nice men are good at getting taxis.

Catherine II of Russia

  • Men make love more intensely at twenty, but make love better however, at thirty.

Dorothy Parker

  • I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Maryon Pearson

  • Behind every great man is a surprised woman.


  • The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake.
  • Marriage is a sort of friendship recognised by the police.
  • A husband's last words should always be "OK buy it"
  • Nothing makes a good wife like a good husband.
  • Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning you have two hearts and a diamond.
    Give it a few years and you'll wish you had a club and a spade.

Learn more about wedding anniversaries, wedding etiquette and wedding customs on our wedding trivia page.

Wedding Quotes
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